A Passion & A Burden

I've been saying for the past few weeks, which turned into months, that I was going to write a blog & share with you all about my upcoming trip to India. I know that many of you have been asking me to share, and I am finally doing so!

As many of you know, India & the injustice of Modern-Day Slavery have been things that have been on my mind & in my heart for well over a decade. When I became a Christian at the age of 13 I also began to look into organizations, some sort of cause that I could look into. Somewhere along the line I heard about an organization called "Gospel For Asia" & I remember simply thinking, "I like the Gospel & I like Asia." As naïve as that sounds it led me to supporting the organization & supporting a child through it. After a few years of supporting that organization it was brought to my attention about the Dalit people of India & through that I learned about the haunting reality of Modern-Day Slavery.

For the next 2 years I researched everything I could about Modern-Day Slavery, I informed my friends & family about everything I was learning about India & Slavery (to the point where they were incredibly annoyed with me), I studied late abolitionists, I studied current abolitionists. To paint you a picture - in Junior High I was the girl who was walking down the school hallway with 5 books that I was reading - all having to do with those very topics.

At 15 years old I began speaking locally about Modern-Day Slavery. Now, during this time in my life, if you knew me than you know that I was immensely quiet, unbearably shy & a nervous wreck when in front of people. I remember the first time speaking in front of people about this injustice - before hand I was in the bathroom puking because I was so nervous; but I remember the moment that I got up to speak that passion & that burden came to life. The odd thing is that I was a quiet & shy 15 year old; but I had been told several times of my great ability to write & speak. I trusted those who encouraged me with those words - but I trusted God even more, I knew that He was placing this passion & burden on my heart for a reason. I continued to speak, communicated with other abolitionists, helped pass a Bill through Congress; but then I graduated High School & it came to a complete STOP.

When I graduated High School I began tricking myself into thinking that this burden & this passion was too heavy to carry; that it was too heavy of a load. 3 weeks after Graduation I began following another passion of mine - that of film. During the following year & a half I went on many auditions, I was an extra in blockbuster films & I had roles in several independent films.

Last September I applied to ONE college, to Film school & I was accepted within 2 weeks. At this point someone who went to Church with a friend of mine got my number & called me about her recent trip to India - at that point India was the last thing I wanted to hear about, but the burden was still there, it was evident. Starting film school was only a few weeks away & I decided not to go ... I think I sent my family into shock. I spent the next year praying continuously for guidance, peace & that I would do God's will not my own selfish will.

I remember very clearly uttering the words, "God if film school is where you want me - then make that clear; but if India is where you want me then do not allow this passion & burden to subside. If I am not going to do anything with this passion & this burden then please give it to someone else - but if this is Your Will, then do not allow this to leave me. Whatever Your Will is, I am willing." I prayed those similar words daily for a year, I spent many long nights weeping on my bedroom floor. I have love for a place I have never been, I have a burden for a people I have yet to meet & I have a passion for any sense of injustice. I cannot & will not let these things go - they are so much a part of who I am.

I am now scheduled to fly to Georgia this week, & from Georgia I will be going to India for the next 6 months. The next time I write I will be writing from India. :)