I woke up this morning at 7:30 after re-setting the alarm 2 or 3 times after it first went off at 6:45. Last night when I set my alarm for 6:45 right before going to sleep around 11, I thought I’d be eager to get out of bed about a half-hour earlier then I normally do on Saturdays. But, this morning I was anything but eager, (which isn’t normal – I love early mornings and having hours of quiet and time to myself before others are up) my body just longed to be in bed. I must admit though, it felt good under the warm covers. :)
I just had some much needed time with Jesus this morning. I spend time reading the Word and praying every morning, and time in prayer every night. But, it’s beginning to amaze me that I never feel completely fulfilled; not that God doesn’t fulfill me. But, with every morning waking up, I realize that spending time with Him only creates more desire to spend time with Him; it only leaves me desperate for it again. I’ve never come to that point where it’s like “Okay, now I feel completely fulfilled, I’ve learned everything that I have to learn, I’ve come to the point where I can stop.” Friends, I don’t think we are ever going to come to that point. *grin*
One thing that has been circling in my mind during the past… good month, has been the reminder of how unfaithful I am. Just before getting my laptop to start writing, I started thinking about that. And I thought, or maybe I said it outloud (I tend to be one who does that often) “If I had one wish, I’d wish to be like Jeremiah.” Now, I don’t know that if someone told me I had one wish, if that’d be the first thing to come to my mind. But why would I possibly wish to be like Jeremiah? Not because he struggled, not because he’s written about in the Bible, not because he was a prophet…. but, simply because he was faithful.
It’s really not easy to be truly faithful, is it?… I know some of you are like “Well duh Teresa, of course it’s not.” I know, that’s obvious. But, seriously, it’s hard to be truly faithful, to be truly obedient. That seems to be a lesson that I just can’t seem to learn; I seem to keep having a reminder of how unfaithful I am, of just how hard it really is to be truly faithful. Or maybe it’s a lesson that I’m too stubborn to learn.
I feel like I’m stuck in such a spot.
Back to faithful Jeremiah…
Pastor Mike has been teaching on Jeremiah’s life for 13weeks now, off and on. I was reminded this morning just how much I love this mans life – or maybe I just now realized it. Either way, he knew what it meant to be faithful. He’s called by God to be a prophet, to show nations there sin and draw them near to God, and to tell them that if they don’t – they will be punished. Because he does these very things he’s looked at as a fool, he’s pitied, looked down upon. He struggles physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually; and he’s had death threat upon death threat thrown against him. He’s a courageous, yet humble man. He runs even while in the valleys, and even when facing hardship and a curve in the road, he doesn’t give in or give up, he remains faithful.
I’ve longed to be like Jeremiah. The past 2 1/2 months have been terribly hard. Things have been placed in front of me that I’ve never expected. I want to lay it all before God, and realize that my part is only to be faithful… even when I want to give in and give up.
“Be strong, all you people of the land,’ declares the LORD, ‘and work. For I am with you,’ declares the LORD Almighty. ‘This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And My Spirit remains amoung you. Do not fear.’ -Haggai 2: 4-5
