A Passion & A Burden

I've been saying for the past few weeks, which turned into months, that I was going to write a blog & share with you all about my upcoming trip to India. I know that many of you have been asking me to share, and I am finally doing so!

As many of you know, India & the injustice of Modern-Day Slavery have been things that have been on my mind & in my heart for well over a decade. When I became a Christian at the age of 13 I also began to look into organizations, some sort of cause that I could look into. Somewhere along the line I heard about an organization called "Gospel For Asia" & I remember simply thinking, "I like the Gospel & I like Asia." As naïve as that sounds it led me to supporting the organization & supporting a child through it. After a few years of supporting that organization it was brought to my attention about the Dalit people of India & through that I learned about the haunting reality of Modern-Day Slavery.

For the next 2 years I researched everything I could about Modern-Day Slavery, I informed my friends & family about everything I was learning about India & Slavery (to the point where they were incredibly annoyed with me), I studied late abolitionists, I studied current abolitionists. To paint you a picture - in Junior High I was the girl who was walking down the school hallway with 5 books that I was reading - all having to do with those very topics.

At 15 years old I began speaking locally about Modern-Day Slavery. Now, during this time in my life, if you knew me than you know that I was immensely quiet, unbearably shy & a nervous wreck when in front of people. I remember the first time speaking in front of people about this injustice - before hand I was in the bathroom puking because I was so nervous; but I remember the moment that I got up to speak that passion & that burden came to life. The odd thing is that I was a quiet & shy 15 year old; but I had been told several times of my great ability to write & speak. I trusted those who encouraged me with those words - but I trusted God even more, I knew that He was placing this passion & burden on my heart for a reason. I continued to speak, communicated with other abolitionists, helped pass a Bill through Congress; but then I graduated High School & it came to a complete STOP.

When I graduated High School I began tricking myself into thinking that this burden & this passion was too heavy to carry; that it was too heavy of a load. 3 weeks after Graduation I began following another passion of mine - that of film. During the following year & a half I went on many auditions, I was an extra in blockbuster films & I had roles in several independent films.

Last September I applied to ONE college, to Film school & I was accepted within 2 weeks. At this point someone who went to Church with a friend of mine got my number & called me about her recent trip to India - at that point India was the last thing I wanted to hear about, but the burden was still there, it was evident. Starting film school was only a few weeks away & I decided not to go ... I think I sent my family into shock. I spent the next year praying continuously for guidance, peace & that I would do God's will not my own selfish will.

I remember very clearly uttering the words, "God if film school is where you want me - then make that clear; but if India is where you want me then do not allow this passion & burden to subside. If I am not going to do anything with this passion & this burden then please give it to someone else - but if this is Your Will, then do not allow this to leave me. Whatever Your Will is, I am willing." I prayed those similar words daily for a year, I spent many long nights weeping on my bedroom floor. I have love for a place I have never been, I have a burden for a people I have yet to meet & I have a passion for any sense of injustice. I cannot & will not let these things go - they are so much a part of who I am.

I am now scheduled to fly to Georgia this week, & from Georgia I will be going to India for the next 6 months. The next time I write I will be writing from India. :)

A Glimpse Into The Past Week

I don't know why most of my mornings & afternoons are wrapped in music, but today is no different. It's breezy & grey outside & the music of NeedToBreathe is playing in my ears while writing this blog & going through mail.

During the past week there were plenty of times that I had an urge to write, moments that I wanted to write & I just didn't. I didn't want to put it off any longer & I have a few pictures to share with you from the past few weeks. :)

First of all, three of my nephews have birthdays this month. Fall seems to be a good time for that. ;) I took two of them out for a birthday celebration last week to Pizza Hut. Ethan turned 12, Nathan turned 6 & tomorrow my nephew Alex is turning 5! I can hardly believe how old they are getting! (More on them in a later blog.)

Birthdays are definitely something worth celebrating, but as of this morning I have something else to celebrate as well! *Drum Roll* ... After only 2 1/2 weeks (when I was told it would take 4-6weeks) my Passport came in the mail today! I've spent some time marveling over it before having to send it off tomorrow to get my Visa! For a lady who has never even flown before, I was pretty excited to see that while opening my mail this afternoon. :)

I know this was quick & slightly scattered (which honestly, makes me cringe) but I will share more very soon! :)

Birthday Celebration with Ethan & Nathan ;)

22 & Counting!

I'm sitting here with the sun shining through the window, my dog asleep next to me & Emeli Sande' soulfully singing in my ears. Its been a pretty good morning, no complaints.

For those of you who know me well, you most likely know that I am a lover of anything written. I used to write religiously. Anything that was possible, I tried writing it. Journals, letters, a novel, music, poetry, & over 100 blog entries... which brings me here. I've missed it. And in case you have not noticed - I'm adding all of my entries from a previous blog onto this blog; minus the comments, for some reason those would not transfer over. Unfortunately.

I have wanted to start up blogging again for quite some time (as you can see its been 5 or 6 years now) but somehow "No" always seemed to win the debate. Until now, that is. I decided that this is perfect timing, for no time is better than the present! To be honest, I don't realize it until I take a step back, but the present seems to be FULL of change lately...

- I recently turned 22 years old (7 days ago to be exact!)
Unlike most women in our country, I love the idea of getting older & the new seasons that added years will simply bring to my life.
No, I don't feel older.
Yes, I do feel different. I think that's mainly because I know this upcoming year is going to be one of major change.


21 was pretty good to me :)

- I applied to film school & got accepted for September 2013.
- I made the shocking decision not to go to film school & am currently living at home.
- I bought a new camera to seriously pursue my love of photography (More so a minor change.)
- Upcoming Drivers Test - its been a long time coming. (Major change for both me & other drivers ;) )
- I decided to pursue my burden, love & passion for India/Dalits/Modern Day Slavery & go to India in just 14 WEEKS.

Here I was in the Spring thinking I was preparing for film school in September. Here I am in September preparing to leave for India in 14 weeks. I am excited, anxious, curious & willing to see what this year of 22 brings!

  I hope you will follow me on this journey, my simple musings, my photos & stories of people in my life. I hope you'll keep up & share your thoughts. :)

More soon! :) 

Teresa

One Of Those Weeks...

I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s been “one of those weeks.” One of those weeks that you wish ended as quick as it came; but you know it’s not going to. One of those weeks that leave you crawling in your bed on Monday night weeping because it’s not even close to being over. One of those weeks that leave you fearful of Tuesday just wondering how on earth you’re going to get through. One of those weeks that leave you in time with God saying, “remind me that You’re faitful, don’t let me forget it, I’m desperate for it.” Yeah… I’ve had one of those weeks & it’s only Tuesday.

I’ve been wanting to update for quite a while, but for some unapparent reason I haven’t, I haven’t even written in my journal since September, or even consistently in about a year. That’s so odd for me… but somehow this “week”, (I say “week” because it’s only Tuesday) has led me here, typing again, trying my very best to get every ounce of what I’m feeling & what life is leaving me – onto this thing I call a “blog.”

For some reason I find it easier to write when things aren’t going as I’ve hoped, or when things just leave me weeping in my bed at 11:30 Monday night wishing tomorrow was some other day other than only Tuesday…

Monday was quite a day, I slowly made my way to the van that my Dad & my sister were in, my sister & I were going to be dropped off at my cousin’s house for Lunch like we are everyday. I could tell as soon as I got into the van that something was wrong – my Dad has somehow become a more tender man in the past few years than what I ever thought was possible, & if you know my dad then you know that “tender” was never an easy word to use to describe him, but it’s become harder for him to hide what he’s feeling…. tears come easier & emotions aren’t as easily veiled anymore. As we were driving he looked over at Britt & I & said, “Uncle Donald died. He was in the Hospital, he was very sick & they let him go home Sunday & Sunday night he died in his sleep.” & I just sat there, looking at him repeatedly, wondering if what he said was really true. It was. The only words that seemed to leave my mouth were, “Uncle Donald?” “What was wrong?” “Are we going to the funeral?” “How’s everyone taking it?” “I don’t even know what to think.”

I really didn’t know what to think…. Britt & Uncle Donald, well he’s was our Great Uncle, & him & Britt had gotten close over the past few years. Somehow he seemed like an older, man, version of Britt. They both we’re the joksters, Britt being 16 & him being in his 80′s, they were decades apart but yet extremely close. But for me… Uncle Donald was the man who I saw when I went to Cleveland to visit my Dad’s side of the family, & the man who always made me laugh & told me he loved me even though we didn’t know eachother well. He was the man who just last week I found myself thinking, “I want to visit Uncle Donald & get to know him better.” It tears me up that I didn’t get that chance… because he was always that man that I longed to know, I never got to see him often, but he was one of those men whose child-like spirit was more than evident, & whose love for God was obvious. I am thankful for having him as a part of my life… but it’s more like the memories of seeing him at my Great-Grandma’s 100+ birthday parties instead of sitting with him on a bench in the park discussing our lives. My memories of him can make me laugh, but the memories I don’t have of him make me weep. And I did; I have wept.

I don’t know why but for some reason our car & van seemed to be the place where all “bad news” was spilt yesterday. Britt & I were getting picked up from school, by our Mom this time to go home. & she mentioned Uncle Donald knowing that Dad had told us about him. & then she said, “Did he tell you about your Great Uncle Bob?” & my heart sank. Uncle Bob is to me, what Uncle Donald was to Britt. I got fearful. & I quickly said, “no! What about Uncle Bob?” & she said, “Grandma (my Dad’s Mom, Uncle Donald & Bob’s sister) said he didn’t want you to know, he didn’t even know your Dad knew.” And Britt looked at her & said, “You can mention him & then not tell us what’s going on!” I quickly agreed. And she said, “Teresa, he especially didn’t want you knowing, that’s what Grandma said, she knows how close you two are.” And she took a deep breath & said, “Uncle Bob has cancer. I guess he’s had it for quite some time & hasn’t wanted anyone to know, but he’s not doing well at all right now.” Tears crept into my eyes… without me wanting them there.

Uncle Bob is 85 years old & doesn’t look a day over 50 – my Dad’s side of the family is known for that! If you’ve ever watched “The Cosby Show” my sister & I have giggled over it for years, but he reminds us so much of the man who plays Bill Cosby’s dad. This man has an old soul, & yet knows how to connect with someone as young as me. This is the man who walks in the room & everyone is eager to talk to. He’s the one, who, like his brother Donald, allows God to be so evident in him. He’s the man who calls me unexpectedly & asks me a million questions about my life. He’s the man who Britt & I have a picture with in our Kitchen & I look at it quite frequently saying “I want to go to Chicago to see Bob.” Honestly, he’s the man who resembles the type of man that I’d want to be married to someday. I love the fact that he’s in my life.

So, this “week” has left me in whirlwind… of death, cancer, ‘wish I had’s', & …. doctor visits.
Yes, so, unfortunately, in the midst of this chaos something has happened with my own body that’s left me in a whirlwind. I’ve been getting in contact with doctors & went to the doctors yesterday to have some tests done & will need more done within the next few weeks. I’m not going to get into detail, but please do pray… that’s all I’ll say on that.

Yeah… it’s been one of those weeks.

Teresa

Guess Whose 17!?

So, I turned 17 on Saturday.

For some reason that has become something that is extremely odd for me to try to grasp. 17 is still young, it’s terribly young, but yet it shocks me that a whole year has passed again. And honestly, this was quite a year.

Yesterday morning at Church my friend Jess came up to me and jokingly asked, “so, do you feel older?” And I thouht about her question and said, “no, I don’t feel older, but I feel different. It’s weird to think that a whole year has gone by and I’m not too sure if I’m proud of the past year.” And she just looked at me and said “Hmm…” I kind of wish I would’ve answered her question differently. It’s not that my whole year of being 16 was one that I was fully unproud of; even though I struggled off and on with sin, some other things [not necessarily bad things] happened as well. I guess it was an unexpected year.

I don’t feel older… I feel different.

I keep being asked, “how was your birthday?” and the answer I keep giving is, “fine” or “it was okay.” There’s so much thought behind those answers even though those answers themselves aren’t thoughtful. The past 3 days were spent fully on wondering why I wasn’t completely proud of the past year, looking back at the way God stretched me in ways I thought were unimaginable, contemplating the tons of people that I met and their stories, reflecting on what burdens God had brought into my life. Honestly, it’s so weird to think that so much can happen in only 365 days. That doesn’t seem that long, really.

I’m not afraid of this year ahead; infact, I’m eager to see what God has in store and what He allows. This past year has made me realize evenmore that He is not a predictable God, in the sense that we sometimes don’t know what He’s going to allow or what He has planned.

So… I feel different, I grew some, I was stretched some.

I finally began to truly cherish friendships with people my own age; I’ve always leaned towards people who are older then me. I learned that white-water-rafting won’t kill me no matter how fearful I am; well, atleast the first time of experiencing it. I began writing 2 books. I learned that I had a great amount of bitterness towards my Dad because of my childhood. I learned that forgiving someone is truly freeing. I learned that I must try to reconcile relationships even when it feels like I’m the only one trying and willing. I learned that I struggle off and on with slight depression. I learned that I view, even the word “depression” as weakness. I found out that I truly love my family and cherish them. I found that my 9 neices and nephews grow up fast and that it makes me cry. I realized that it my deepest time of hurt and confusion I ran to God. One of my siblings tried to commit suicide. I almost lost the person in my life that I’m closest to. I’ve realized that I find myself on the floor face down weeping and praying when I’m most broken or desperate. I noticed that I truly am blessed with my Church family. I was blessed with new and amazing friendships and I haven’t been able to say that for years. I took 2 cooking classes. I learned that I sometimes pull myself away from something new because I doubt myself. I learned that I like some Chinese foods. I felt what it means to really miss someone. I went for a year without seeing my best friend – states away makes that a sad fact. I let go of the dream of becoming a musician. I’ve cried myself to sleep more this year than I ever have in my lifetime. I wondered if I fell too far away from God. I’ve learned that I’m super weak. I’ve learned that with Christ I’m strong.

I’ve decided that I want to go to Bryan College. I thought that maybe I would re-plan my trip to India through Gospel For Asia for the Summer after I graduate. I began to speak about Modern-Day Slavery and even contacted a Congressman. I fought for a petition about Modern-Day Slavery. I felt like I wasted my summer and wept on my Kitchen floor over it. I decided that I want to be a foster mom at some point in my life after befriending a family full of foster kids. This Summer I met 3 new friends from India, one who was even involved in Gospel For Asia. I met a Hindu who shunned me after he heard I was a Christian.

God gave me a sometimes unbearble burden over India & also Modern Day Slavery.I got fearful that sin was going to lead me to falling away from Christ – then I prayed instead of allowing myself to think that over and over again. I thought about going counceling. I began to believe that clouds are painted against the sky and not actual moving created things. I realized that I really hate it when people joke about drugs. I cried when I thought no one was looking. Had my friend Renny from India grasp my hands and look me in the eyes and say, “You can go to India, but know that you may not make it, you may not come back” it made me even more fearful. I’ve prayed to God almost weekly that my sibling who tried to commit suicide will still be there when I wake up in the morning. I began to love wearing flats. I started liking skinny jeans. I’ve made myself question why I believe what I believe. I learned about William Wilberforce and Zach Hunter. I’ve realized that I really really really miss writing music. I began to write poetry. I’ve re-learned that Tennessee is my favorite state. I wanted to learn to play the drums. Felt fear. Felt like I’ve succeeded. I felt left out. I’ve questioned if someone meant more to me then I did to them. I watched God change me. I watched the struggle with sin change me. I struggled with nightmares about India & also Modern-Day Slavery.I prayed and wept over the Hindi man who shunned me. My morals challenged a teacher of mine and he decided to stop cussing in class.

I learned that at some point I want to live in India, not only go for mission trips through GFA. As much as I convince myself that the world’s view of me means nothing to me, I’ve realized that at times it really does. I learned that I try to defend my sin and myself before God. I realized that I don’t have a defense when I’m before Him. I went on a missions trip to Tennessee. A homeless man changed my life and made me weep. I cried over India countless times. I prayed for a young girl I love but have never met. An adult man told me that he looked up to me. My 5th neice was born, which makes 9 neices and nephews. I went horse-back riding. I almost when bungee jumping. I learned to trust fully that God is near even when I want to doubt it. I’ve learned that my days don’t feel the same if I don’t spend time with God in the mornings like I like to. I got furious with God. I realized that I probably don’t have a right to be angry with God. I questioned if God was only angry at me. I feared God’s anger. I realized God is graceful and merciful. I’ve become unafraid of being vunerable and saying, “Be near me God and help me.”

This year was so full… it was full of brokenness, hope, restoration, frusteration, meeting new people, burdens for slaves and India, meeting friends from India. May the year to come be even more.

Teresa

Empty Handed & Offended

I kept saying that I was going to write about the missions trip that I was on in Tennessee June 16th-21st. I finally am; & I’m kind of eager to… but I want to share one story in particular.

Our second day on the missions trip my Youth Group & the adults who came along split into 2 groups. Both groups went to a different homeless shelter. Sadly, at our shelter the people staying there were somewhere else at the time. I kept telling my Youth Pastor how I was disappointed about that – I had gone expecting to be able to talk with at least a few people, to just hear their stories & complete honesty. I’m the type of person who loves conversation & honesty, I long for it I think. But, also, I said I wanted to be able to talk with at least a few people – I’m also a shy & quiet person… so wanting that seemed odd for me, but I guess I’m kind of getting a balance in that somehow. :)

After my group was done with half the day of doing a few things at the shelter we went to a near-by “park” [the type with benches [AND A BUILT IN WATERFALL/FOUNTAIN]. But, we ate lunch there & while a group of us were eating lunch nearly 15people started walking up to us asking for sandwiches & drinks & so on. Later we found out that this was a park where homeless often stayed & the very spot we were sitting & eating was the very spot many people came to give food to the homeless… so we were front & center with people crowding around us thinking we were there to feed them… so we did just that. We fed them, they walked away with sandwiches, drinks & chips in hand.

I made my way to the sandwiches again, after already having one I decided to get a half of another one. Sadly, after only 3 or 4 bites into the sandwich I decided that I actually didn’t want it & threw it away. Now, some will that is very “American-like” honestly, I just think it’s very human-like, I think it’s often in our nature to be greedy & wasteful, to want more than we can chew & then spit it out anyway [not only with food]. We aren’t satisfied or are at least hard to satisfy… I don’t think it’s only Americans, I think it’s humans in general – of course, we [Americans] display it more often.

Literally 10minutes after I had thrown away this 2nd sandwich of mine an African American [I actually hate it when people use someones race to describe them - I'm not sure why I do, but anyway, I just did it.] man who looked like he was in his late 50′s, walked over to us in his tattered & torn clothing. This man’s face alone made me smile! He walked up to us being completely giddy like he knew what he was going to get – that sandwich in his hand like everyone else. But he walked up to my Youth Pastor asking, “Can I have a sandwich?” Phil looked at him & said, “I’m sorry but we just gave the last one away.” The mans face went from giddy to disappointment – I’ve never seen the feeling of disappointment so real or so evident. This man who had come to us thinking he was going to get the expected was soon haunted with the thought that he wasn’t going to get anything at all.

Phil placed a little bag of chips into this mans hand. I stood there watching all of this take place with a granola bar in my hand – this man looked at me as if I was going to give it to him – it hadn’t even crossed my mind that I had food in my hand until the man was walking blocks away.

I’m weeping while sharing this…

I went back to my dorm at Bryan College, where we were staying. I locked myself in my room & wept bitterly with my head in my hands, & saying random words to God while praying. I sat there crying & praying for nearly an hour. I never once remembered throwing my sandwich away until I got back to my dorm, as soon as I walked in it hit me – ‘I threw away what could’ve been that man’s meal.’ I remember repeatedly saying to God, “God I feel as if his hunger is my burden.” I honestly think there are very few times that I’ve ever been that broken before. Me… I go around speaking about modern-day slavery & the unGodly injustice of it all – I’m writing two books about it right now & contacting Congressman. The very reality of that [modern-day slavery] scars me – burdens me… but also a man, in tattered & torn clothing leaves me in a room alone weeping for over an hour. I don’t think it was the fact that he didn’t get food that left me so broken [that was part of it] but I think the fact that the man was literally the poor & needy Jesus speaks of was what broke me.

I think within that hour I realized that its really offended my heart. It really offended my heart in thinking how so many people live that way, & what Jesus commanded to be in my heart – to be that poor in my spirit, to be that needy & desperate for Him. Jesus commands me to love the poor & the needy, to love the outcaste, to show justice & mercy to slaves I’m burdened for & passionate about, to love the homeless & the looked-down-upon, to love the people He has given me a love for – the Dalits in India who are considered “Untouchable” or subhuman.

A year ago I hadn’t even known about half of the people mentioned above – I hadn’t known that slavery was still going on in Africa, Asia, the Middle East or America… or even Ohio, or that people were Dalits in the country I love – India. But, a year ago it really offended my heart somehow. I remember a night about a year ago I was having some time with God & I uttered the words through weeping bitterly & praying, “God give me a burden for the poor & the needy. God, use me in whatever way you want. I’m willing.” I wrote those very words in my journal as well – I just wanted to be broken for who He is broken for & I wanted to be willing to be used in anyway He wanted me even if it wasn’t completely directed toward those very people.

Funny thing is [or not so funny]… God is faithful. That’s expected right? Not only is God faithful by leading us to trusting Him, or being our Comforter, or whatever it may be… but He’s faithful in laying it out bare & giving us what we’ve asked of Him, if it’s according to His will. After saying those very words, “God give me a burden for the poor & needy. God, use me in whatever way you want. I’m willing” it was brought to my attention about “Untouchables” in India & I started writing a young girl through Gospel For Asia who is a Christian & an Untouchable. Then modern-day slavery was brought to my attention this December & now I’m fighting to end the unGodly injustice… & then the poor & needy were literally standing in front of me asking for food.

Now please realize that I don’t want to over-spiritualize anything in the previous paragraph, I think we so often do that, but I do think God gives us opportunities if we ask for them & without God I don’t know if I believe some of these things would’ve happened.

I kind of feel like the man who asked us for food… empty handed. I come before God empty handed, absolutely left with nothing to give Him that is worthy of anything. He doesn’t desire sacrifices, He doesn’t want what I think “will make it better” He desires a broken & contrite heart.

The one who’s being broken, healed, offended & used by God… & it’s a good thing.

 Teresa [read the previous entry as well!]

Child-like Simplicity

“Hey Mista!”

Those are two words that I heard all last week from a sweet 4 year old named miss Molly Meyer; minus the “miss” part. Last week I helped with Vacation Bible School at my church; the 4 year olds was the group that I was with. I don’t know why but as a young kid I never liked Bible School. And I take that back, I do know why. As a kid I never wanted anything to do with God, nothing that even connected with Him, not until I was 13 1/2 anyway… that woul explain why I didn’t like VBS.

BUT, this week had been free-ing for me, in more ways than one. I spent a total of 20hours with 24 4year olds this week. I know some people may find that overwhelming or exhausting and possibly rightly so; but I found and find it refreshing. There’s something about that child-like simplicity that draws me in; it’s something that leaves me light-hearted. And I’m smiling now just thinking about it.

My Youth Pastor had told those of us who were from the Youth Group helping with VBS to connect with the kids, even if it was just one child in our group that we connected with. He told us that child would remember that connection – and that was one of the things he wanted from this week, second to learning more about Jesus. Unintentionally during this week I connected with one of those 24 like no one else. We have 3 pastors at our Church and Pastor Shawn’s daughter, Molly Meyer, had been in my group of the 4 year olds. I don’t know what it is but if I were a 4 year old I’d be pretty darn jealous if this girl wasn’t my best friend. She clung to me throughout the whole week; she literally would not let go of me. She’d either be in my arms being held, sitting on my lap, holding my hand, or holding onto my leg while we were both standing listening to what it was that we were suppossed to be doing next.

Miss Molly Meyer seemed to be quiet at first. I had briefly met her a few months before Vacation Bible School when I was at a friends house and her and her brothers were there as well. She seemed quiet and reserved, very soft spoken. I guess she can be quite deceiving. *grin* Because this week with every passing day it seemed that she became louder, sillier and even more expressive. She was the one who wouldn’t let go of me but yet I’d soon see her behind me as I turned around and she’d be telling me to watch how high she could go as she jumped into the air. She sat on the picnic table with me when it was play time and talked about flowers and how her daddy (Pastor Shawn) kills the “yellow flowers” (dandelions) so she warned me never to bring them to her house. *grin* As we were sitting there talking about those “flowers” another 4 year old sat beside us and Molly looked at him and said, “we’re talking about flowers, if you don’t want to listen then you can leave.” I don’t know if she meant for it to be said in a harsh way but after she said it she smiled so I figured she wasn’t trying to be mean… he left. *grin* I also felt completely blessed because I learned later this week that she must trust me an aweful lot; because she fell and skinned her knee and I was the person she wanted when she was hurt. I felt blessed.

One of my favorite things was the fact that she suddenly started saying “Hey Mista” (hey mister) out of no where. She’d hold my hand as we were walking and suddenly jump up and shout “Hey Mista! Teresa did you here heeya (hear) me that time?” As if I could say no?

(yes, I am rambling and bragging about a 4 year old girl.)

But, my favorite time during these past 5 days was when almost everyone had left the Church and very few of us were left there. The Meyer family was getting ready to leave and after talking with Kay (Molly’s Mom, Shawn’s wife) I bent down and asked Molly for a hug, it was the 4th one she had given me that day; although the other ones were by her choice. And then I said, “oh, but can I have just one more?” And she looked at me and shook her head with a sly smile on her face and said “nooo” and then quickly said “I’m just teasing!” and gave me a huge hug. She left my arms and began to walk away with her family and suddenly turned around and ran back to my arms and said “I want just one more!”

She made my week! :)

Sitting here now a part of me wonders what it was that made her cling to me like she did. I wonder what it is that drew her to me. One of the mornings of VBS she simply said to me, “I want to be just like you.” I kind of giggled at that but within seconds her words really hit me – what on earth would truly make her want to be “just like me?” It made me smile nonstop but its made me wonder as well – can one single life really have that much affect on someone elses. (remember, I’m an overthinker.) I’ve always been the one to be on Molly’s end, wanting to be like that person whose impacted my life; it feels odd being on the other end.

Maybe it is because I come from a big family and have 9 nieces and nephews that has led me to love this type of simplicity; maybe that has something to do with what has led me to love children the way I do. Or maybe I just long for the simplicity that they have and seem to hold onto so easily. I’m guessing it’s all of these reasons. I love children, I love their nature and their simplicity, their excitement and wonder.

This all tends to make me smile… child-like simplicity. Molly. It all makes me smile.

I’ll be sharing soon about the missions trip that I went on this week… seriously, look out for the blog entry “Empty Handed.”

Teresa