Villages & Vagabonds

I have been in India for nearly 3 weeks now and it is hard for me to believe that I still have 20-some weeks left here. Why is that hard to believe? Because it is as if I have felt so much already while being in India. I still have so much of India to see, to experience, to taste, to touch, to understand, to venture; but I have felt more in the first 2 weeks than I believed possible! And last weekend I got to see another piece of India, I had the opportunity to travel to another part of India.

Last Saturday I was invited to visit a few villages on the outskirts of Mumbai with a Pastor/new friend here in India. And, of course, I couldn't turn something like that down. While we made the drive through the city & closer to the villages I could see India change right in front of my eyes. The city roads turned into highways with more honking & traffic; but the highways soon turned into streets of dirt. Those streets of dirt occasionally occupied cows crossing the streets or standing their ground in the middle of one.

As we got deeper into the villages the heat of Mumbai felt like nothing compared to the intense heat of the villages, the humidity was undeniable; but so was the beauty as we entered these villages. I looked out the window only to look over to my friend & say several times, "I wish I had brought my camera with me on this drive!" Green, luscious hills with pink flowers gradually turned into dirt filled mountains looking like they longed for the rainy season a few months too soon...

We got into the villages as this friend of mine stopped for an authentic Indian snack that he advised me not to eat; so as he got out to get his snack I stayed put in the car. I watched as people watched me, they looked at me like I was some foreign object - then I realized, I am. I noticed that my friend had left his keys in the vehicle, windows wide open. I started to feel uneasy with these multiple eyes watching me, knowing that if they wanted, they could easily hop into this vehicle & drive off in a split second. My friend got back into the vehicle just in time; just as I was beginning to feel a little unsettled. He had no clue of the internal discussions going on in my mind. Thank goodness!

Children, hens & their chicks, dogs, fresh fruit stands, cows, men, women on front door steps all filled my eyes. We got out of the car to visit with a few of the local families - some took us through their garden with seemed to be miles long, some invited us in for "tea time," which is a true love of Indians. Some of them tried speaking with me in Hindi, some of them spoke with me in English, some of them I wasn't able to speak with at all. But there was a mutual feeling of respect. I left their homes with a true sense of gratitude & the never-ending feeling that India has left me with - that of being welcomed.

I watched my friend of mine truly connect with these people, the families in these villages. We went from village to village, it was evident that his heart is for these people. I didn't want to say a word, I didn't want to make any action, I wanted to watch because what was taking place isn't something I can shake. My friend/pastor here in India is currently working on a new project within these villages & it is something that I will have the honor of seeing from the very beginning. I hope to share more about it with all of you soon, because it will be making waves here in India - God is truly working & His move is evident. Please be praying for my friend/pastor & the burden that God has set on his heart.

More soon,
In love with these villages & vagabond souls!

Teresa

 

A Beggar's Heart

I've been sitting here wondering how on earth to begin this - actually for the past 5 or 6 hours. That seems to be the hardest part, just beginning. It has seemed to be a trend thus far. Somehow processing the past few days & sharing my thoughts & my feelings has become nearly impossible.

I arrived Tuesday night but had only been able to see India in the dark from the backseat of a vehicle. It was quieter than I had expected, less activity than I expected; but the heat, that hit me all at once - the moment I walked out of the airport Tuesday night. That was a part of India I expected, a part of India I hoped was pretend & make believe.

Wednesday was my first full day here. I was able to venture a bit with a friend, who I will be working along side of. We went to lunch & then she showed me a few of her favorite shops in order for me to buy some Indian clothing that I'd be wearing during the next 6 months. Eating lunch was a breeze, buying clothing was exciting, but what came next once I stepped outside of the shop, left me on the sidewalk in my friends arms weeping like a baby, repeatedly saying, "I don't know what to do; what do I do?" Not only was I seeing, smelling, tasting, touching & hearing India... I was feeling India. I had been approached, for the first time, by children-beggars.

I had shared with another friend (who picked me up from the airport & is working with the organization I am in India with) during our ride from the airport that beggars was the part of India that I, in no way, felt prepared for. I told her that the moment I realized this reality that it would wreck me. And it did.

We were walking out of the shop after buying some clothes & all of a sudden I heard little voices. It didn't sound like they were saying full sentences; just broken words that I could barely understand. It took me a moment to realize what was happening, suddenly there was a face right next to mine keeping up with my pace, & suddenly there were hands at my side & in front of my face. I barely looked at them, it was wrecking me, it was hitting me. I quickened my pace, I had to get away. I realized what was happening, I realized who was next to me, I realized who the tiny voices belonged to. Child-beggars, Dalit children, the very first thing that ever caught my attention into wanting to come to India back when I was 13.

The reality of it all hit me at once: they aren't just faces I've seen over a computer screen, they aren't just names from books that I've read or stories that I've heard, they aren't just a number or a statistic in India, they aren't just a caste in a culture dictated by it's caste system & beliefs... They are people, they are the very people that Jesus loved & has called His believers to love.

 Jesus loved & loves the poor & the needy, the prostitutes, the outcastes, the down-trodden, the hopeless. I am called to love the poor, I am called to love the needy, I am called to love the prostitutes, I am called to love the outcaste, I am called to love the down-trodden, I am called to love those who need hope - India is filled with those very people, I face them on a daily basis.

I am wrecked. I'm crying as I write this...
I am humbled in a way I never thought possible by being here.

I feel like sharing this with you is not doing justice to the experience; but I'd much rather share anyway.

"Hands reaching through barred windows, falling asleep on the sidewalk.
You say You draw near to the low,
Now I know, now I'm here I know, I'm not low enough.Because all the things I know, suddenly seem so small.And I'm learning, when You build it feels like You tear me apart.
When You heal, it always leaves a scar.
And even when You fill, You leave me with a beggars heart."

Teresa

What To Expect When In India...

I don't know how to begin. That's always the hardest part, the first sentences, the first paragraph. Thoughts forming into words, feelings being expressed. For the first time I'm at a loss for words.

I spent the last 19hours on planes & in airports. Planes in Atlanta, planes in Paris, planes in Mumbai.

A few beautiful things took place during & in between those flights. I was on my flight from Paris to Mumbai; I woke up from a short nap, lifted open the window shade & I was left breathless. I woke up to the sight of snow-capped mountains along the Caspian Sea! The sun was setting & it was -65 degrees outside.

I was then on my flight into Mumbai & the emotional reaction I had to knowing that I had entered into India was overwhelming. I watched outside my plane window as the dark sky became slowly lit up by the lights of India. I started to see the cars as they zoomed the streets this mid night.

I don't know what to expect when in India; but if my emotional reaction while arriving in India is any glimpse into what is to come - then I am no where near prepared for what India has in store for me.

India will wreck me. India will leave me joyful. India, I have no clue what to expect from you...

Teresa

Good Ole Southern Soil : Part II

Thursday evening (1/30/14) I was sitting on the passenger side of the car making my way to the Charlotte airport. I took it in: the conversation with Albert (learn who he is in the previous entry), the humming of the music on the radio, the slowing down of the car as I attempted to take pictures of Charlotte's beautiful skyline. We pulled up at the airport, Albert helped get my luggage out of the trunk in exchange for a hug.

Alone, I made my way into the airport with luggage trailing behind me. I had to be a sight to see: a barely 5"2 twenty-two year old young woman who looks barely a day over 18, the carry-on in my hand felt as if it weighed hundreds of pounds, my suitcase packed for 6months in the other hand. I put on "the face," the one that my family refers to as my "intimidating" one. Yeah, that one. I kept reminding myself not to look like a young woman who wasn't sure where she was going as I ventured to check in my bags in the First Class section. That's the benefit of so many delayed & cancelled flights - they reschedule you for First Class, where, interestingly, people had a tendency to question if I were Israeli.

I waited in line at security, looking at the floor mostly, but occasionally looking up at the people behind & in front of me. I tried taking it in: all of the different faces, the different ethnicities, the different languages. It was refreshing, so refreshing. It was so different from back in Mercer County, Ohio.

I almost made it smoothly through security. My purse was held back. I wondered what on earth I could have in there that was causing such havoc? I wondered if something was snuck into my purse? Then I wondered if I would ever get to India at all? That's when I heard one of the workers say, "Lighten up, it's only a water bottle. There are bigger things to worry about..." He handed me back my purse as I apologized for my inconvenient addiction to water. He sympathized. ;)

That trouble-some carry on bag, my purse & I made our way around for the next few hours in the airport. I made a few calls to people back home, as I hung up I realized just how alone I was & how far away the voices on the other end had seemed. I dug in my carry on bag to look through the snacks a sweet friend had given me for my trip. I wasn't even hungry, it just felt comforting knowing where they came from...

I sat & watched as people ran from one side of the airport to the other. Sometimes it was strictly entertaining & other times it was like rooting for the underdog to make it in time! I watched as people began to sit in the area of those who were boarding the same flight as I was. I wondered what each of their stories entailed. I like people-watching, for a girl like me this was heaven on earth...

A man who seemed to be middle-aged sat across from me & fell asleep while waiting to board our flight. I wondered what must have caused him to be so tired? I noted that he was traveling light & figured he must not be going far. A man who acted more like a boy sat across from me a few seats down, inappropriately talking on the phone with someone about the strip club he had just been to. To much of our dismay, he did not fail to leave out any of the indecent detail.

Just as I was about to move & sit somewhere else I realized that the man sitting next to me had been staring at the word written on my hand. He noticed that I had seen him staring & said, "You're not from the Middle East are you?" The tone of his words sounded heavy & demeaning; before I could inform him that the word, was indeed, of an African language, he had already turned his back. That's when I noticed that at some point a girl had sat next to me who was on the phone, speaking in a language unknown to me, that would be the only conversation she would have.

I turned back towards the man who had turned his back to me, only to see an Arab man making his way down the aisle to get a seat. I realized that nearly every eye was on him. He seemed nervous, I offered a genuine smile as he sat across from me a few seats down. No one sat beside him, I wanted to get up and sit next to him as the man beside me (yes the one who asked me about being Middle-Eastern) moved one seat away from me & did not take his eyes off of the Arab man.

I sat there, across from him, wondering what he must be thinking, what he must be feeling. I watched as way too many eyes watched him. I felt an urge to cry, an urge to sit next to him, I got up to do so - just as we told to prepare for our flight.

I walked away from my seat to get in line to board our flight. I stood there feeling like my carry-on was slightly heavier than before, I felt the emotional sting & disgust from what I had just encountered & experienced just 10 feet away. Now, unfortunately, that reminded me of home: the intolerant attitude towards anything or anyone different than you.

I stood there in line, next to a short, dark-haired, woman. I introduced myself & she did as well, telling me that her name was Sivani. She went on to ask me if I was traveling from the Middle East, I told her no, but that for some reason people have been thinking that lately! ;) I asked her if she was from India (she was) and informed her that I was traveling to India. As we boarded the flight we made promise that we'd wait for each other after the flight to finish our conversation that we had started about our homes, college, India and so on.

If you know me at all - you know that I try to be a person of my word, so I stood there waiting as she got off of the plane. We continued our conversation as we practically ran across the Atlanta airport laughing after every one of our mishaps. After minutes & minutes of running & searching we were finally told that we had to take a train to the baggage claim... A train the airport? Yeah, that was a definitely reminder that Coldwater, Ohio is insanely tiny! Not that I was in need of such a reminder!

Sivani & I exchanged phone numbers & hugs before going separate ways. At that moment I saw a blonde-haired, young looking woman (from the organization I am going to India through.) I greeted her with a hug as she took my luggage & informed me that I wasn't using the correct handle for pulling my luggage. I laughed from either literally thinking it was funny, or realizing just how easier my ventures through the airports would have been knowing that simple fact. Thanks to Susan I now know how to make my ventures in Paris & India a bit smoother. ;)

More soon!
Teresa

Good Ole Southern Soil : Part I

(From 1/29/14)

I apparently wasn't being honest when I said that my next blog would be written from India; but I'm almost as giddy to be able to share with you from the good ole Southern soil! ;) If you know me at all you most likely know that I am a lover of the South. I do not care what part of the South I am in; but if you put me in the South I am one happy girl! :)

In the past few days I have been to two Southern states that I had yet to step foot on: North Carolina & Georgia. A bit more has happened during the past 4 days as well, so I should probably start from the beginning...

Fore-warning, I have a feeling this is going to be just a bit scattered.
I warned you. ;)

Wednesday I left home to head to the Dayton Airport to begin my journey to North Carolina. This was my first time traveling alone, my first time flying, & my first time being away from home for so long (6months.) You can imagine the possible frantic state I could have been in; but to be honest, the only thing I was nervous about was learning how to navigate the airports - I was the person nervous that they would accuse me of having some sort of thing in my bag that wasn't really there at all & have to be searched - fortunately I worried for nothing. ;) I made my way through the Check In, went through security (which went a lot smoother than I had expected), found my gate & then had a good hour wait. That hour wait turned into two hours, but for someone who likes to people watch as much as I do, that flight delay from Dayton to Charlotte was heaven on earth. ;)

It can be interesting, the people that you meet, no matter where you are or what you are doing. I took my aisle seat on the plane & watched as everyone passed me by, I began to think that I was sitting alone when a young looking gentleman walked up to me & said, "I believe I'm sitting next to you Miss." I glanced at his name tag which read "Matthew Shultz: Pilot." I informed him that it was my first time flying & as we took off he looked over at me & said, "Are you sure it's your first time flying? Most people are clenching their seats, you look like you're at complete ease." My Mama has been telling me lately that I do a really good job at not showing fear or stress - apparently she may have been on to something! ;) But to be honest, I didn't only look to be at ease, I felt completely at ease flying in that plane. I was calm, I was at peace. :)

Pilot Matthew and I talked the entire flight, which was only 2 hours, but it felt good being able to share with him & learning about him as well. As we talked I learned that we live just 40minutes apart from each other, this young looking gentleman has been married for 11 years & has 3 adorable sons (who he was kind enough to show me pictures of.) He asked me where I was headed & I, of course, didn't hesitate to tell him that I was flying down to Georgia & would soon be going to Paris & India - which led into an amazing conversation about the Dalit people of India (which he knew about) & modern-day slavery. Before we knew it our flight was ending & I was repeatedly thanking him for being so kind; but by surprise he looked over at me & said, "There's no need for you to thank me, you have a gentle spirit - it was easy to get along with you. And, I need to thank you...Thank you for doing what you're doing in India, most people wouldn't do something like that, especially at your age. I'm impressed, I may not know you, but I'm proud of you." In response to that all I did was say, "Thank you, but no, there's no reason to be proud or impressed with me - all I am doing is what I feel has been on my heart to do. All I am doing is what I believe is God's will for me."

From there he helped me off the plane (I had gotten somewhat light-headed) & helped me navigate my way through the Charlotte, NC Airport to find the baggage claim. Our 3 hours together ended with a photo of Matthew, my constant repeat of "thank you" & a hug.

I was supposed to have a connecting flight from Charlotte to Atlanta - but that connecting flight was cancelled due to the fact that the South struggles with knowing how to handle snow & ice. ;) It's okay, I am not dissing you, you hospitable Southerners - because that very incident left me with several family members & old friends willing to let me to stay with them. I ended up staying with an old family friend, Tasha, who I probably haven't seen since my single-digit years! ;)

I spent Wednesday evening in Charlotte, NC, aside from driving through it - it was my first time to that state! From what I had seen, it was beautiful. I spent that evening with Tasha & her boyfriend Albert, who I am happy to say once played in the Minor Leagues! ... Which, incase you didn't know, is a huge deal for a Baseball fan like myself. Spending time with them talking about our individual past, present & future while eating Mexican food & watching our choice of television shows was a good way to spend the night. I believe that I thanked them well over 100 times for allowing me to be a part of their evening & for being as kind-hearted as they were! :)

I felt that the South was treating me well already...
This had all happened within 1 day and I hadn't even made my way into the state of Georgia.

Teresa :)

A Passion & A Burden

I've been saying for the past few weeks, which turned into months, that I was going to write a blog & share with you all about my upcoming trip to India. I know that many of you have been asking me to share, and I am finally doing so!

As many of you know, India & the injustice of Modern-Day Slavery have been things that have been on my mind & in my heart for well over a decade. When I became a Christian at the age of 13 I also began to look into organizations, some sort of cause that I could look into. Somewhere along the line I heard about an organization called "Gospel For Asia" & I remember simply thinking, "I like the Gospel & I like Asia." As naïve as that sounds it led me to supporting the organization & supporting a child through it. After a few years of supporting that organization it was brought to my attention about the Dalit people of India & through that I learned about the haunting reality of Modern-Day Slavery.

For the next 2 years I researched everything I could about Modern-Day Slavery, I informed my friends & family about everything I was learning about India & Slavery (to the point where they were incredibly annoyed with me), I studied late abolitionists, I studied current abolitionists. To paint you a picture - in Junior High I was the girl who was walking down the school hallway with 5 books that I was reading - all having to do with those very topics.

At 15 years old I began speaking locally about Modern-Day Slavery. Now, during this time in my life, if you knew me than you know that I was immensely quiet, unbearably shy & a nervous wreck when in front of people. I remember the first time speaking in front of people about this injustice - before hand I was in the bathroom puking because I was so nervous; but I remember the moment that I got up to speak that passion & that burden came to life. The odd thing is that I was a quiet & shy 15 year old; but I had been told several times of my great ability to write & speak. I trusted those who encouraged me with those words - but I trusted God even more, I knew that He was placing this passion & burden on my heart for a reason. I continued to speak, communicated with other abolitionists, helped pass a Bill through Congress; but then I graduated High School & it came to a complete STOP.

When I graduated High School I began tricking myself into thinking that this burden & this passion was too heavy to carry; that it was too heavy of a load. 3 weeks after Graduation I began following another passion of mine - that of film. During the following year & a half I went on many auditions, I was an extra in blockbuster films & I had roles in several independent films.

Last September I applied to ONE college, to Film school & I was accepted within 2 weeks. At this point someone who went to Church with a friend of mine got my number & called me about her recent trip to India - at that point India was the last thing I wanted to hear about, but the burden was still there, it was evident. Starting film school was only a few weeks away & I decided not to go ... I think I sent my family into shock. I spent the next year praying continuously for guidance, peace & that I would do God's will not my own selfish will.

I remember very clearly uttering the words, "God if film school is where you want me - then make that clear; but if India is where you want me then do not allow this passion & burden to subside. If I am not going to do anything with this passion & this burden then please give it to someone else - but if this is Your Will, then do not allow this to leave me. Whatever Your Will is, I am willing." I prayed those similar words daily for a year, I spent many long nights weeping on my bedroom floor. I have love for a place I have never been, I have a burden for a people I have yet to meet & I have a passion for any sense of injustice. I cannot & will not let these things go - they are so much a part of who I am.

I am now scheduled to fly to Georgia this week, & from Georgia I will be going to India for the next 6 months. The next time I write I will be writing from India. :)

A Glimpse Into The Past Week

I don't know why most of my mornings & afternoons are wrapped in music, but today is no different. It's breezy & grey outside & the music of NeedToBreathe is playing in my ears while writing this blog & going through mail.

During the past week there were plenty of times that I had an urge to write, moments that I wanted to write & I just didn't. I didn't want to put it off any longer & I have a few pictures to share with you from the past few weeks. :)

First of all, three of my nephews have birthdays this month. Fall seems to be a good time for that. ;) I took two of them out for a birthday celebration last week to Pizza Hut. Ethan turned 12, Nathan turned 6 & tomorrow my nephew Alex is turning 5! I can hardly believe how old they are getting! (More on them in a later blog.)

Birthdays are definitely something worth celebrating, but as of this morning I have something else to celebrate as well! *Drum Roll* ... After only 2 1/2 weeks (when I was told it would take 4-6weeks) my Passport came in the mail today! I've spent some time marveling over it before having to send it off tomorrow to get my Visa! For a lady who has never even flown before, I was pretty excited to see that while opening my mail this afternoon. :)

I know this was quick & slightly scattered (which honestly, makes me cringe) but I will share more very soon! :)

Birthday Celebration with Ethan & Nathan ;)